Why It’s Worth Attempting a Separation Agreement Before Filing a Lawsuit

When a marriage begins to end, it’s natural to want answers and a sense of closure right away. But before filing a lawsuit or heading to court, it’s almost always worth exploring a separation agreement first.

A separation agreement is a legally binding contract between spouses that sets out how you’ll handle your finances, property, and parenting while living apart. It can be one of the most practical, cost-effective, and respectful ways to begin the next chapter of your life, especially for military families or couples who want to keep things private and cooperative.

1. It Saves Time and Money

Litigation is expensive and slow. Between filing fees, attorney preparation, and multiple court dates, the process can easily cost thousands. A separation agreement allows you to reach decisions privately, often for a fraction of the cost and without waiting months for a court date.

Even if court action becomes necessary later, having a clear agreement in place limits what’s left to fight over and keeps costs down.

2. You Stay in Control

When you go to court, a judge makes the decisions. When you negotiate a separation agreement, you make the decisions. You and your spouse can decide what’s fair for your family, your schedules, and your finances, without leaving those intimate details to someone who doesn’t know your lives.

3. It Reduces Conflict and Protects Children

Court cases tend to heighten tension, while a separation agreement encourages calm communication and compromise. For parents, especially military families balancing deployments or relocations, this cooperative approach lays the foundation for healthy co-parenting long after the separation is finalized.

4. It Makes Your Divorce Simpler Later

In North Carolina, couples must live separate and apart for one year before filing for divorce. Using that time to reach an agreement means that, once the waiting period is over, your divorce can proceed uncontested, saving time, money, and stress.

5. It Protects Privacy and Dignity

Court filings become public record and includes findings of fact that led to the judge’s decision. A separation agreement stays private. You can resolve personal financial or family matters confidentially without your details becoming part of an online record.

6. It Offers Flexibility

A separation agreement can be updated or later incorporated into a court order. If your circumstances change (a PCS move, new job, or evolving custody needs) you can adjust terms through mutual consent rather than a full-blown court case.

7. It Sets the Stage for a Collaborative Divorce

Starting with a separation agreement encourages a collaborative mindset: one that focuses on problem-solving instead of blame. For families who value peace, respect, and financial stability, it’s often the most emotionally healthy first step.

Thinking About a Separation Agreement?

At Via Nova Collaborative Family Law, I help North Carolina civilian and military families craft separation agreements that are fair, enforceable, and designed for long-term stability. Whether you need a full agreement or just legal guidance on one section, I offer flat-fee and unbundled services to make the process accessible and transparent.

If you’re ready to start moving forward, without immediately filing a lawsuit, schedule a consultation to explore your options.